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5 Random crushes you are likely to have during PMS

Put cramps, headache, nausea, insomnia, and irritability combined on one pan of a scale and hormones on the other in terms of the trouble these PMS guests cause us. All of the physical discomfort cumulated together and then there’s the trouble your hormones thrust you in.

Just when you decide to snuggle up in your bed with a mug full of hot chocolate (read: heaven), you are dignified with the arrival of a stream of consciousness that drives every possible food combination and ten different scenarios of how you could be having it before your eyes and you find yourself confronted with the dilemma of what to eat then (or later) and whether or not you should be having your hot chocolate the way it is or add an extra spoonful of sugar/cocoa to it or simply sprinkle some salt on it and treat your taste buds like a joke, Good Job Serotonin! Like this wasn’t adequate to make you feel miserable about your whole being, voila! land your sex-hormones on the planet of the misery, and before you know it, you find yourself fantasizing the initials of the next man you see walk by. All those standards for the Mr. Right you spent years tweaking and fine-tuning go down the drain while your imagination goes haywire at the mere sight of I-am-a-nice-smelling-dude-look-at-me. But oh wait, don’t blame yourself just yet, misery does love company, we are all in it together and we will tell you who to pin the blame on, it’s Aunt Gen (Read: estrogen). You are innocent.

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Below I have assembled my list of embarrassing crushes, see if you can relate:

1. The Gardener

Judge me all you want; he had a tinge of green in his otherwise blue eyes and had a semblance with Brad Pitt and who doesn’t love Brad Pitt duh? Well, little did I know Aunt Gen had different plans and therefore forced him out of my list in less than 48 hrs.

2. The News Reporter

This one I stumbled on while flipping through the channels on the TV in an attempt to counter my signature PMS irritability. Dark brown, slicked-back hair (I hear you) is what appealed to me initially. And in my defense, he was multi-lingual and oh that voice, had me wondering about all the intonations he’d probably be calling my name in after we get married.

3. The Cartoon

I don’t care if you think I am too naive (read: I do), if you didn’t imagine all possible permutations of how your life would have been as one of your favorite cartoon characters, I am sorry to break it to you but you lack imagination. And with the aforementioned imaginative capacity, I was able to imagine myself as the lady Ben-ten. There we were, transitioning into supernatural creatures, struggling to save the world, in the most improbable of the scenarios.

4. The Bald-Guy

OK this one I am particularly sensitive about. Dude looked like Pitbull, I was taken aback for a bit. Sorry but his head looked brighter than my future, and for a microsecond I saw my future in it. (:,))

Note: If you are a man reading this, please note that good hair is very important to women. All we care about is our hair and his.

5. The Mr. Good Cologne

I am not ashamed to assert that this one I am still very much in love with and if only I could build a time-machine, travel through time and ask him…which perfume he was wearing, I would. The sad reality is that I can’t but truth be told, I still find myself daydreaming about the chance-encounter I had with the love of my….life?!? Time froze when he reached to pick the shards of glass scattered around the floor(after I accidentally ran into him and broke the glass-bottle on my foot) and like the perfect beau he was, smelling like donuts (read: an ineffable fragrance) and everything, asked if I were okay, apologized (which is rare, given the breed) gave me the cutest smile and then went on with his day.

PMS hormones Love

 Is it true love? I think so…

 

Author: Noor Najam